All She Knows
With my newborn on my chest, my Midwife held up the beautiful tight knot Tate had wound in her umbilical cord for me to see. No surprise, flipping around inside of me the way she had for months on end. Since the beginning, she’s loved to move.
For Tate, second and third grades were all about backbending with her friends at recess. She took delight in aweing others with her noodle-like body. Her teacher even let the girls do their routines in the classroom, often as a reward.
Well before I ever thought the conversation would come up, Tate announces, “I need bras, Mama.”
I don’t follow; she’s still a plank head to toe. Seeing my eyebrow rise in question, she explains that when she’s doing her gymnastics at school, her shirt comes up and it’s distracting to have to worry about.
My mind immediately shrinks in fear - she wants to grow up too fast. She’s the youngest in her class and there must be talk amongst the ‘older’ girls about breasts. Darn it, I didn't want her worrying about any of that until much later.
On and on, my head spins. Angry about the influence of others, wanting to protect her, scared it’s all going too fast. Taken aback by how young she is, to be asking.
She then goes on to share more about wanting to do what she wants in her body. About how proud she is of what she can do on the field, of how even the teachers like to watch her move. I hear how fun and empowering it is for her. I quickly realize her point and then, open to her truth.
She adds, “Plus, a lot of my shirts are thin.”
An active girl needs to be in her body - not distracted by worrying about what might be revealed. This is exactly what I want for my girl - to find ways to feel strong and free in her body. And to ask for what she needs in order to do so.
“I get it, babe. Thanks for asking for what you need. This weekend, we’ll go to Target together and pick some out.”
She lights up, feeling my having let go of my head, my coming back to her, to the here and now.
How little I know, restrained by stories from my childhood that create irrelevant assumptions about hers.
How much she knows. Again, I’m reminded of ALL she knows.
