Punishments Versus Boundaries
There’s talk about kids not respecting authority anymore. Some say old-fashioned punishments are the only way to teach children respect. They’re the only way to teach kids not to be rude or hit.
I disagree.
I don’t believe in permissive parenting. I believe in sturdy parenting - which isn’t about punishments.
It’s absolutely a parent’s job to set boundaries quickly around unsafe behavior. They need to be in charge of the home. This hierarchy is important in helping kids feel safe.
And, at the same time, it’s our job to remember that, like adults, kids respect those who treat them with respect.
Allow all feelings AND hold boundaries.
Be kind and curious with your children AND help them practice behaviors that will help them in all their relationships in life.
Be the example - teach them how to behave, by communciating your feelings and needs clearly and modeling what to do when dysregulated.
Hurting kids is never the answer to behavior struggles. If you hit them (spank), they’ll be likely to hit others. If you ignore them, they’ll learn to ignore others. If you withdraw love and respect when they don’t behave, they’ll do the same when they don’t like how someone acts.
It’s about setting and holding boundaries AND holding space. Embracing, with intention and patience, your job as a teacher, guide and their number one role-model.
This is what isn’t happening enough these days where we’re overextended. Kids suffer from this and act out, even try to take control, to steady themselves.
It’s on us to step up. Not go back to the old ways of intimidation and bullying.
