Checking-In
A practice in sharing and listening both, a nightly check-in can make us both vulnerable and present in a fun, easy way. Each family member shares three things. To start, ideally in the Kinder years, it can be as simple as a good, a bad and a silly. Each day has all three, if we pause to think long enough. This normalizes for our children the real range of emotions we all feel every day; it also normalizes you!
I’m not talking about big events but rather the small moments of the day. This practice offers the chance to look back on our days and zoom in to notice how we felt at different times. Find ones to share that are appropriate to share with your children, while still showing your heart and humanity (imperfection).
They may struggle at first to come up with theirs - you can help jog their memory by generally walking them through the events of their day or people they saw (this alone can help them come up with one). There is no right or wrong. It’s a time to just listen.
They may resist and say they don’t want to do it. That’s okay, too. Then you simply shrug and do your three. While you’re sharing, they may be inspired and butt in with theirs or they might just take in your brave example, for next time.
Sometimes these could be - a highlight, a lowlight and a cheer (noticing something terrific someone else did). Or - one sunny, one cloudy, one goofy. Some people use one rose, one thorn, one stone (a moment like a stepping stone where they learned something or tried something new).
Come up with your own names for it, or let your kiddos after having practiced it together awhile. I recommend always having an up, a down and ideally often one in the bunch that’s something that made you laugh.
Bonus Tip: Don’t attempt this right away when you see them after being apart all day. Let transitions happen first.
