Voice

Giving kiddos the opportunity to practice using their voice in relationships is one of the ways to raise leaders. This starts at home and is simple. And, of course, it involves lots of role modeling.

Noticing our feelings is first. Being able to share them with each other is then the next, important step to be practicing out loud every day with each other.

Try using this simple fill-in-the-blank sentence. And encourage your children to do the same.

I feel (blank) when you (blank).

When you use it, do it calmly, before you’re fed up. Look your child in the eyes and be brave. This can be used for sharing happy feelings as well as the uncomfortable, not-so-happy ones.

When they do it (they’ll need lots of reminders and examples until it’s a habit), make sure to give them eye contact, really stop to listen and acknowledge them for sharing in such a calm and respectful way. You may even thank them for letting you know.

If it feels awkward at first, you’re doing it right. Honor this in yourself (and in them) and even admit to your kiddos that flexing a new muscle like this is challenging - for you, too.