Zero to Sixty

Cars are often rated by how quickly they can go from 0-60 mph and the faster the better. As parents, I invite you to value the opposite because when you go from zero to sixty in the snap of your fingers, it scares your kids and frays their trust in you.

You want to give lots of clear signals and be explicit about your feelings and rising temper so that if you do need to ramp up to sixty, your children have had plenty of warning. Share with them when your frustration starts and how it’s mounting; encourage them to hear the change in your voice.

This teaches them to recognize others' responses to them, which is a life skill. It also allows them the chance to acknowledge the interpersonal nature of your relationship and their role in it. Of course, with signs and signals, they’re also given time to make a different choice.